I think sometimes when you are so used to things being a certain way, you can't possible see things being any different. This sounds so vague but let's be honest, I'm used to relationships not exactly being the healthiest.
This doesn't reflect purely on romantic relationships, although my marriage is probably the most prominent reflection I have of what relationships are like, but also includes relationships with friends, parents, siblings etc.
Let's look at trust for a moment. I trusted my sister completely growing up. Only being five years age difference between us, we were pretty close. I know now this wasn't always my sisters choice, but more my Mothers appalling parenting skills and it was easier to palm me off with my sister when she went out.
So I used to enjoy 'hanging out' with my sister and her cool friends. Playing games like hide and seek. Yes, it's all fun and games until one of you (i.e. Me!) walks into a garage door and needs steri strips above her eyes.
For years my sister said it was an accident, but the truth was revealed a few years ago when in fact she purposely pulled the garage door down so I would walk into it whilst trying to find her. No one I have trust issues!
Actually it's an odd one but my trust issues are not your normal 'I don't trust anyone', my probably is I trust people too much. Often that trust is broken but I am very much of the mind-set that I would much rather trust someone fully than always have doubts.
Of course that's backfired on me in the past, let's see my ex using my car to go and see his ex whilst I was travelling, or the same ex sleeping with a colleague shortly after I encouraged and supporting him in getting a new job.
But you can't tare everyone with the same brush.
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but equally I am of the opinion that people get one second chance then that's it.
Because things haven't exactly been smooth sailing in the past, I now find it very difficult to understand peoples motives when they are being nice to me. This refers back to a previous post about receiving compliments but I always assume someone wants something from me if they are being nice.
Perhaps the reason why I've usually dated the 'standard type' of guys is because you kind of know where you stand with the arse holes. Yes they are usually incredibly good looking and funny but they are also arrogant and are quite happy for their heads to be turned.
So when they mess you around, you expect nothing less.
So here poses the problem with the 'nice guys'. I've already pushed a very 'nice' guy away before. He was very lovely and would have treated me like the perfect lady but when you're used to being kept on your toes, nice doesn't seem exciting.
Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment or maybe I like the thrill of the chase a bit but sadly nice might keep you warm at night but it's the difference between a warm fluffy blanket and a roaring fire.
I know that there is this 'inbetween' person out there. The person who is the perfect gentleman but will also call me on my flaws. This is perhaps a person that I am not used to at all, hence why it's pretty scary.
When you're used to things being a certain way, change can be daunting. I like to see myself as pretty adaptable but I also know I am a complete stubborn mare sometimes.
To survive, evolve and get the most from life you have to be able to move with the times. The ability to take on-board feedback and move with the times is one of the biggest attributes you can have. It's difficult sometimes but I want to ensure I am the best that I can possibly be.
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