Discussing the issue of mental health

Last Thursday was International Men's Day. I was supporting the suicide prevention charity, CALM, in the evening by handing our oyster card holders with branding of 'Mind the Chap'.


Because of my involvement, I decided to send an email around my office to raise awareness and then the can of worms was well and truly opened...


After getting the all clear from a senior manager, I sent a pretty generic email explaining what the day was and explaining the good work CALM does. After sending that email, I was very surprised with the responses.


I had a few emails saying they think it's great that I'm supporting such a worthy charity and raising awareness and then I had three people directly approach me and explain they are currently suffering from mental health issues.


I really appreciated these people feeling as though they can approach me. I'm generally quite good at being sympathetic and listening without giving advice. It can be very dangerous to give advice when you don't understand the full circumstances.


One person I am very worried about as he hasn't seek help from the business. We have access to an excellent counselling programme but not everyone knows about this benefit. But he still feels because of the 'taboo' of mental health that he may be seen as weak or even lose his job.


When will people wake up and realise that mental health is as real as a broken arm? Just because you can not directly see the mental health issues, it does not make them real. And the difference with a broken bone is, it's pretty easy to fix (although I'm not a Doctor) whereas mental health issues requires quite a bit more care.


I am very proud of the company I work for, and I know that they truly care about their staff however sadly some times people do not see mental health as a real issue or they are embarrassed to talk, well tough it needs to be addressed.


I've been lucky enough to speak to the senior board members of my firm and raise this issue. It was incredibly awkward to raise in front of a room of 100 people but it had to be done. The support I received was incredible!


I think age sometimes factors into peoples understanding of mental health issues. The older generation were always told to just 'Get on with it' or to 'Man up' but life was a little easier in those days.


Now a days you simply can't switch off. Examples are even when you're on holiday, you can still access work emails and if you wake up during the night, you usually reach for your phone.


Technology is a great thing but it also has it's disadvantages. Take relationships, there were no sites like Ashley Madison trying to lure men (and women) away for affairs. There was also no pressures from trying to compete for Likes on Instagram. Life was a little simpler.


People are now realising that it is ok to discuss if you are feeling down and that there is help and support out there. But it seems it takes that first person to speak up to get the conversation flowing.


I feel like I've opened a can of worms at work. The support has been very good but equally I have slightly criticized the business for not promoting our benefits enough. But I feel very confident that the senior management are taking this seriously.


I feel very vulnerable discussing the issue of mental health. Every time someone opens up to me, I feel so desperate to try and 'save' them. I know I failed Dean and wasn't able to save him so I feel like it's my duty to help others.


From this blog can I please just ask you to be mindful of people around you and how they may be feeling. Even the strongest of person sometimes struggles.


CALM offers so much support and guidance on their website, please check them out. In fact I wrote an article for them shortly after Dean passed away, here is the link to my article and the website you can explore.


https://www.thecalmzone.net/2012/11/first-person-a-widows-words/