I mean, come on guys, I don't dance to any of your smushy 'love' songs. No, you don't see me there in the corner truffle shuffling to 'Amazed' by Lonestar. So why steal my thunder with my song?!
That song was playing on the radio this morning and it got me thinking about 'all my single ladies', you know all my friends that are single and guess what the grand total is zero! I literally have no single friends.
I have some lovely friends but they are all married with children. I love spending time with them but it usually involves dinner with my friend, her hubby and the little one or going to some indoor play area. It's great fun, and I always get to be the fun cool aunty but I do miss my drinking buddies.
Having single friends isn't all about going out, on the prowl to find a man. That isn't my style. Yes it would be nice to occasionally go out for drinks and dancing with the potential to chat to some nice guys but it's more about being able to share the whole being single experience with someone (anyone!).
Being single is completely different from being in a relationship. I know since I was last in a relationship, I have changed so much. I also know that I don't want to go back to being just one half of a couple (if that makes sense).
I want to still be Becky. I'll be Becky, the sister, Becky, the daughter, Becky, the friend, Becky, the aunty. When you get in a relationship, it's so easy to slip into just being with that one person fully. I mean, you may still see your friends and family but I bet you'll still be thinking about your partner or texting them.
I hate not having someone to vent to about the frustrations of dating. Don't get me wrong, I like being single and doing whatever I wish to do but in the right relationship, I should still be free to do what I want to do. I'm not talking about doing naughty things, I'm just talking about spending time on my own or making my own decisions.
2015 saw me fall out with some of my friends. And although I miss their company (occasionally) I don't miss their friendship. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but they were never true friends.
One of these friends was completely insecure and I would try and help her feel better but I disagreed with her constant cheating on her boyfriend and having to sleep with men to feel better about herself. When someone tries to put me down, to make themselves feel better that's not a friend.
I know I'm not perfect. I'm a complete pain in the arse sometimes, I wind people up and I don't even mean to. I'm too honest for my own good. I get too excited by things, and I know some people see that as me showing off but I'm genuinely not like that. People that actually know me, realise that I would do anything for my friends, I'd always put them first.
When you don't have any single friends, it's difficult trying to meet people in the normal way. I actually despise using these dating apps. They are a complete waste of time! I constantly get messages from people who I wouldn't be interested in, in real life. That's not just a looks things but shared interests don't seem to be there either.
At the moment, I'm stuck indoors so I am looking on these apps more and I just seem even more disheartened.
People say (always those in relationships) that you should stop looking for something and just let it be but that's pretty difficult sometimes. I will have been single for two years come this May. That might not sound that long but it is for me.
I don't think I'm a bad catch. I'm kind, funny, caring, I'm ok looking so I have no idea why I struggle to find someone nice?
I hate playing games so if I like someone, I'll let them know. I don't know whether that is an issue, I'm too keen too early? Now, I'm not saying I propose marriage and babies after a few dates but I will be proactive and suggest another date, since when is being proactive being 'too keen'?
There has to be other ways of meeting single people, if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to let me know.
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