Although over the last 16 months I've been on multiple dates (cue The 'Good, The Bad and The Ugly' theme tune), I've even 'seen' someone for nearly four months (although this was absolutely not a relationship!).
Actually lets eleborate on that last point. What is a relationship?
For me, a relationship is when you are exclusive with someone. You're not interested in seeing someone else of the opposite sex romantically (although what is romance these days?).
A relationship is when you are there for each other. It's not set out by a minimum commitment requirement of seeing someone 'X' hours per week.
It should simply be about wanting to spend time with someone and enjoying that time together.
Far too many people get hung up on titles and are more concerned about what other people think or what they expect you to do, rather than what makes them truly happy.
I actually have to admit that those four months of 'non-relationship' status were probably the best times over the past couple of years.
Things were easy. Low expectations meant I could be myself without worrying about what he thought of me (although I still didn't pass wind in front of him).
With the dating websites/app I use, they always make you define what you are looking for.
At first I thought it was easy, I'm looking for a relationship. However, a relationship is very unique to the two people that are in it.
I used to refuse to reply (unless they were insanely hot!) to any guy that said they are just 'seeking fun' or as Plenty of fish puts it 'Not seeking commitment of any kind' (I try hope those dudes don't have a pet goldfish or anything!).
But really, what is commitment? Is asking for someone to communicate with you regularly, asking too much? Is asking someone not to be kissing another girl, being unreasonable?
I think I don't actually know what I want. Wow I bet that's a big shock - a female that can't make her mind up!
I thought I wanted the whole relationship, commitment, settling down 'thing' but what does it all actually mean?
I have been on dates with such different types of guys. I've dated the narcissist, I've dated the player, I've dated the nice guy. And all it has done is made me realise, there are aspects from each of these guys I liked (yes even the not so nice ones).
I know perfection doesn't exist, and frankly I wouldn't want it. I'm the type of girl that needs to be kept on my toes. If everything was handed to me too easily then I'd get bored.
I'm starting to wonder whether I need to change my ways as to how I view dating, otherwise I may be single for a long time.
But the past 16 months haven't been so bad, isn't the saying "Don't fix something that isn't broken"?
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