One of the girls was explaining her not boyfriend who is heading over from Spain for a visit and the explanation was so clear.
When I first heard the word, I thought it meant "Friends with Benefits" but I think it means more than that.
I did google the word and it came up with a cumber of different meanings but most have a negative vibe to it - I don't think it should be seen as a negative thing.
Thinking about it, I had my own situationship which lasted four blissful months. In my mind, our 'non-relationship' was 'perfect' (OK - nothing is perfect but it was pretty damn good).
From the beginning I knew he didn't want a relationship, at least he was being very honest. At first, I thought that was a poor reflection on me (of course it's all about moi!!) but he clearly explained his reasons for not wanting a relationship, and although I didn't fully agree with his reasons, I did completely understand how he felt.
We agreed right away that we would be exclusively seeing just each other so not once did I feel jealous. Ok that's a tiny fib as he often went away with female friends and I was occasionally a little jealous but nowhere near the extent as I had been jealous in the past.
And the communication was great. We chatted all the time and when we didn't, we both knew it was because the other was busy.
In the four months we had one little tiff, and luckily he realised pretty quickly that he was indeed in the wrong. That was actually the only issue with the non-relationship, I had expected a little more support with something and he was honest and said if we were in a relationship, he would've done more.
That did hurt a little but I got over it pretty quickly. Let's face it, there was no point in causing drama as the outcome wouldn't have changed.
That was really the best thing about it all, the lack of drama. We never argued, I didn't expect him to do anything for me (but naturally he did do things as we were still friends) and there was no pressure. It was chilled and fun.
Sadly things did end. I think I was starting to develop stronger feelings for him and he felt it was best to end it before anyone got hurt. At the time, I didn't really agree as it's no different if you're in a relationship with someone and it ends - it will hurt.
Anyway, what this situationship taught me was you don't have to put a label on it. If something works for the two of you, then who gives a damn what it's called?
There are a few things for me that are so important to any 'relationship/non-relationship' and that's being exclusive and communication.
Jealousy is a truly nasty thing and we are all guilty of it at some point. Whether it's within your relationship, whether your jealous of a friend earning more money than you or someone with a better body than you - at times we're all partial to the Green eyed monster. However, that doesn't make it right!
This is where I see situationships and friends with benefits massively differ. FWB is just that, you occasionally have 'fun' together but ultimately they have no 'tie' (that's not the right word but I can't think of another) with you. You know they are likely dating other people and may have other FWB.
I think a situationship is for people who either don't care what other people think about the label or they are still a little scared of taking the full plunge into declaring to the World that they are exclusively with that one person.
My problem at the moment is I don't feel like I have the time, patience or even desire to fully commit to someone. I would like to have that one person I can call when I'm excited about something, or whether my day has been bad. I want the Netflix weekends on the sofa but I also want my freedom.
I want someone to know that yes I am faithful to you, but I have guy friends who I want to hang out with. That I am flirty but that doesn't mean I'm going to cheek and above all, my independence to do what I want when I want.
I guess I was lucky to have those four months before. It seems dating has changed so much and it's really difficult to find that middle ground between all or nothing.
Plus I think my biggest issue is being so damn picky. I've settled so much in the past so now I don't want to do that. I have a whole list of things that I don't want but I still haven't fully figured out what I do want. Only time will tell...
This one really made me laugh. So true!! I want loyalty yet being relaxed. I want fun yet you're not allowed fun with others.
Initially I felt like this with the situationship I was in (before I knew the awesome new title). It looked like a relationship, it felt like a relationship but it categorically wasn't a relationship.
This is what I'm living by. I don't need to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
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