Willpower

I feel like I literally have no willpower. This post for example, I said to myself I would write it after 5:00pm after I finish work, I haven't even got the willpower to wait 30 minutes to moan about my lack of willpower!!

If I can't wait half an hour then what hope do I have when it comes to dieting? It's no wonder when I start a 14 day diet, I'm usually finished in three days. You would think that is a good achievement but apparently it's not when it comes to calorie counting.

Because I've been off work for the past four weeks recovering from the operation on my foot, I had all the best intentions of eating healthily so I would at least not put more weight on whilst I can't exercise properly.

My logic on Sunday is a classic example of the little angel on one shoulder and the naughty devil on the other. I ordered a pizza for lunch. I figured if I buy the medium pizza, garlic bread, wedges and cookies for £14.99 not only does it make financial sense (my usual small pizza is £9.99 so only 1/3 more and I get so much more!) but I can have it for both lunch and dinner. Surely that's saving pounds in both sense, right?

I have a way of talking myself into anything. Women's logic at the best of times is bad enough but add into the mix hangry (yes that's the feeling I get when I'm hungry - angry!), emotional (good old PMS at it's best) and generally craziness - and it's a recipe for disaster.

My latest annoyance with my lack of willpower is texting a certain someone. I hate these games you seem to play when you're getting to know someone. Long gone are the days of picking up the phone to just chat or sending a little text to see what they are up to, everything is read into!

I thought it was just women that over think things but a few conversations with M has made me realise men also over think. Maybe over think isn't the right word. It' hard to explain but they have certain 'rules'.

For example, M said he finds it odd when people just call him without saying that they are going to call. He also said he would be furious if someone just turned up on his door step without arranging to visit first - this included his family!

I joked saying I know not to waste my one phone call on him if I ever get arrested. So he makes these comments and then does what, calls (actually FaceTime) me out of the blue. Obviously it was nice but talk about double standards.

I hate rules and games when it comes to dating but I'm starting to realise that perhaps I can be a bit too forward when getting to know someone. I know the thrill of the case is half the excitement and I also know that the air of mystery is also alluring but I don't seem to possess these skills when it comes to dating someone I actually like.

It's classic really! Someone I am not really too sure on, I may not text back right away or cancel a date last minute. This seems to keep them interested. So the ones I don't want, I'm making them interested in me more...

Whereas, someone I do like I come across as too keen. I want to help everyone and I've fallen foal of this in the past. Like lending money to someone I barely know and ending up having to take him to court to repay me or offering someone to stay with me for a few days whilst his house is being redecorated. I'm being nice but I'm also opening myself up to be taken advantage off.

By trying to help people it either looks like I'm trying too hard or I'm just an easy ticket. I mean you can't possibly simply be a nice person and what you give out to the universe,  what you wish to get back. That would be far too simple and logical.

What I'm currently worried about is being seen as being too nice. I know that sounds crazy, and there are far worse things to be called, but by being too nice and offering too much too soon I could be seen as needy - which I'm not. I just want to help people.

I need to stop taking on other peoples problems. I don't do things to receive back but if we're being honest, a lot of people I offer to help probably wouldn't be there for me in my time of need.

So the moral of this post, stop being so nice!!